


Stuck in the Middle

by DontOffendTheBees



Series: The Importance Of Being Idle [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Domestic, Ensemble Cast, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Light Angst, Multi, Pre-Relationship, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Smoking, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 09:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15992213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontOffendTheBees/pseuds/DontOffendTheBees
Summary: "What about him?" Dirk asked innocently, taking an avid interest in the remains of his banana milkshake.Farah rolled her eyes. "Don't make me say it."He carefully arranged a blob of cream into a cat shape with his straw."Fine. Dirk, how's the enormous crush on your roommate going?"Dirk returns to the Ridgely after an impromptu jaunt across the Nordic wilderness, and finds life has moved on somewhat in his absence. With Farah camping in his bedroom, Bart and Ken living in (alleged) domestic bliss, and Todd freshened up and back on the dating scene, he finds himself with no one to commiserate with but his agoraphobic landlady Amanda; who, sadly, remains the one person he can never be truly honest with, on account of the whole 'lying to get the flat' thing.A superbly bad idea, in retrospect.Return to the domestic mayhem as the sadder but wiser six grapple their way through the maze of adult life; featuring quests for belonging, self-actualisation, and hobbies that don't involve shooting each other with paint.





	Stuck in the Middle

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK!
> 
> ...Sort of.
> 
> Okay, cards on the table, guys: This first chapter is sort of a prologue/recap to the actual story, which I'm still in the process of writing. Thing is, it's hella discouraging writing all the time and never posting, and I don't even have a Bang deadline to keep me motivated like last year, so I've gotta give myself the incentive- and I figured a good way to do that would be to actually put a little taster out into the world! This prologue is it's own little thing, sort of a trailer I guess, it is not cliffhanger-y in the slightest. After this it may be another month or so til I post chapter one, but the reason for that will be I'll be trying to get a decent amount of fic done so I never have to leave you on such a long hiatus again! I've already got one chapter done, two more scripted and all of them planned, so we ARE underway, I just don't want to ditch you guys to a moment of tension!
> 
> So! If you've not read part one of this series, you should go do that and catch yourself up. If you've read the first part and you're still here, I thank you for your patience and you will soon be rewarded <3 If you don't want to read any of this fic til it's complete I understand, but if you ARE reading along, I would love love LOVE comments and feedback, it really makes my day and keeps me motivated and you'll help me get through the long slog of trying to get this entire story down when all I want to do is skip to the best bits!
> 
> So, without much further ado, let us dip our toes back into the lives of these messes.
> 
> Enjoy <3

_“Chapter One: It all started with Seattle. A city as chaotic and multifaceted as the universe itself._

__ _“Ooh, that’s actually rather good- top notch prose, Dirk! Perhaps I should write NOVELS! All I’d need is one bestseller and I’d be set for life. And then people might make FILMS of my books. Or a TV show. Maybe even more than ONE TV show! And they’ll all be fantastic because they’re based on my fantastic book! Not that anyone will be reading my fantastic book anymore, not now they’ve got films and TV to watch…_

_“Oh, bugger. Lost my train of thought. Where was I?_

_“…Chapter One: ”_

 

**“This… isn’t exactly where I thought I’d be. But I’m not complaining- at least, not right now.**

**“I’m Todd. I’m 27, single, and I’m a musician- or, well, I was, until I lost my band. Or I guess they lost me. Kicked me to the curb, actually, but it was a lot more mutual. Or at least, by the end it was… It’s a long story, and one that didn’t end so well. I’m over it, though. Seriously.**

**“...I’m really just focusing on myself right now…”**

 

_“The City. Seattle. It was our city, and we were Seattellites. Wow, I am on_ fire!”

  **“This is Dirk, he’s my best friend- for some reason. He wants to be an investigative journalist, but honestly, I think he’s just as confused as me. He’s away right now, went backpacking round Norway a couple of months ago on a ‘hunch’. He said he wanted to ‘find himself’. Good luck to him, I guess.**

**“Earlier this year he finally wrote up some of his ‘cases’ and sold the accounts to some local papers. I’m pretty sure they only bought them ‘cause they thought they were parody columns, but whatever. It wasn’t enough for the plane tickets, but he stumbled across the rest of the cash. Something about a car wreck and a suitcase?**

**“He’s pretty lucky like that.”**

 

_“Seattle was my place, my sanctum. Definite and focused, like my mind- DOGTHERE’SADOGTHERE’SA oh, bugger, I didn’t mean to write that…”_

**“This is Farah, my other best friend. We met in college- I had a crush, she turned out to be a lesbian and also out of my league, it’s all cool.**

**“She’s helped me out a lot over the years, and I’ve tried to do the same. She always wanted to be in the military, but turns out they don't let you in after five failed psych tests. It's fine, though, she's got a pretty sweet deal working private security for some reclusive billionaire. Uh, guess he’s not so ‘reclusive’ anymore. She’s been a bit lost lately, since he reunited with his teenage daughter, it’s like she doesn’t know what to do with herself when she doesn’t have to worry about him all the time. It’s cool, I think, I mean, she seems happy.**

**“Mostly.”**

 

_“It was the home of my triumphs, and tragedies- a city like no other. (Not including London, obviously, but I don’t see how you even fit the two in the same category).”_

**“This is Ken, he lives downstairs. He’s an engineer. And a programmer, sometimes. He never tells me what kind of programming work he does- and at this point, I’m kinda too scared to ask. There’s something kinda sketchy about the guy. I dunno, maybe I’m just biased ‘cause the first time we met he looked like he was trying to break in through our window. He’s actually a pretty decent guy.**

**“I think.**

**“Oh, and he has a… ‘thing’ going on with Bart. I’m too scared to ask about that, too…”**

 

_“It was a city that loved me, cared for me, never judged me. Well, almost never judged me. WELL… almost never judged me MALICIOUSLY. Though it’s certainly rolled its eyes at me in fond exasperation.”_

  **“This is Bart, Dirk’s other best friend- although I’m not actually sure why… I mean, I get that she was like a super terrifying guardian angel for him in high school, but I’m kind of amazed they’ve kept in touch this long.**

**“I haven’t really figured her out yet. I don’t know what she does, where she’s from, or how she’s still in contact with Dirk since I’ve never once seen her holding a phone. All I know is there’s something going on with her and Ken, and she’s the scariest person currently living.**

**“...She’s not, uh… she’s not** **_here,_ ** **is she?”**

 

_“Though I’d only lived in it a short while, its streets were as familiar to me as the back of my ha-oh my, has that freckle always been there…?”_

  **“This is Amanda. She’s our landlady- although weirdly, she kinda feels more like a little sister.**

**“She’s majorly agoraphobic, and possibly alcoholic- but that’s kind of an awkward subject to bring up and, uh, I’m not really in a position to judge. Don’t let the punk look fool you, she’s actually pretty sweet.**

**“Shit. Don’t tell her I said that. Fuck, all the women in my life are terrifying.”**

 

_“But for all its familiarity, it was a city of surprises. A city with adventures awaiting around every corner. A city of friends in unlikely places…”_

**“And this is Amanda’s entourage- they call themselves the Rowdies. Trust me, it’s apt. They’re loud, and aggressive, and honestly? Kind of a bunch of jerks.**

**“They have their own names, believe it or not- Martin, Gripps, Cross and Vogel. They don’t seem to use them much, though, since they’re basically joined at the hips. They’re kind of like a big, loud, four-headed dog. With leather jackets. And baseball bats. And… bricks. I know for a** **_fact_ ** **they’re the ones who got that sofa stuck in the stairwell, but we were all so wasted I can’t prove it.**

**“But they’re alright when you get to know them. And they’re sweet on Amanda and help her a lot, so I guess they’re mostly harmless.”**

 

_“Find your friends there, and you’ll be thick as thieves in no time. It was a city for finding your feet, for following your heart.”_

  **“These are our kids-** ** _pets_** **, uh, yeah, our** ** _pets_** **. Rapunzel and Jaws.**

**“I, uh, didn’t get a say in the names. Even though I’m the one who fucking rescued the cat from a top secret illegal animal testing facility. But whatever, I guess.**

**“The four of us have lived together for about six months. Sometimes it feels like way longer…”**

 

_“A city for falling in love._

 " _…Did I say love? No. No, not love, just… friend love. Friend love is, is what I…_

_“Maybe I’ll just delete that bit.”_

 

**“I was having a pretty hard time of it not long ago. I was loose, directionless, stuck in a dead-end job and living a lie. And I still am, but… it’s not so bad. It’s actually a pretty good life we have here. We have our friends, and our freedom. Dirk and me… we’re good friends. Boyfriends, as far as Amanda’s concerned.**

  **“Yeah, that’s the other thing… we kind of lied to her. Like, the first time we met her. We weren’t trying to be shitty, but we were both desperate for somewhere to live and the ad said ‘professional couple only’ and so we lied, and then we lied a bunch more to keep up the original lie and I guess it kind of… snowballed. I’m not proud of it, but that’s where we are now. And y’know, it’s not such a hard lie to keep up anymore, and it’s not like we’re hurting anyone! We made some choices out of desperation, and maybe it’s not an honest way to live but… I guess everything worked out for the best!**

**“Feels like I’ve finally stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop.”**

 

_“As much as I travel the world, I know I’ll always come back to Seattle. The home of my passions, my adventures, my friends. This is_ our _flat._

 

  _“And it always will be.”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand we're all up to speed, ready to go again! You excited? You nervous? You wondering how long I'm gonna make you wait before these assholes just kiss? (hint: a long-ass time.) Let me know! Your feedback is water in the desert.
> 
> Stick with me, guys- we'll get there <3
> 
>  
> 
> [music from the original Spaced TV series](https://open.spotify.com/user/johnnypistachio/playlist/069k1wtDLilk0bL02UoLe7)
> 
> [Start at the Beginning mood mix](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyenrenn/playlist/3A7mBXqR4EJxeElKMGzhhq?si=p3gcgAwzSmGUPWo7lmU5zg)
> 
> [Stuck in the Middle mood mix](https://open.spotify.com/user/lilyenrenn/playlist/03x66OKOfidpOtGGuPGHXq?si=Orss1weiQ7ujsF17dtHk1A)


End file.
